My husband refuses to support me financially and is demanding the car back that he gave as mehr.
Wslm. My question is as follows. I remarried 18 months ago to a man older than me seeing it as a marriage that will work. My husband told me he had been widowed from he’s 2nd wife of 10 yrs and there were no kids in the marriage. He mentioned that there was a 1st wife and he was still in the nikah but that they merely lived under one roof but that she had lost her mind 28 yrs ago and that she was in her room, he was in he’s and she did not remember him. My husband and I are now estranged due to the constant interference of he’s daughters in our marital home where they used to visit and constantly I had to sit through hours of them talking bout Mummy Mummy Mummy. Strange but on all there wedding dvds, as they are all now divorced with no kids, there mother was also left at home like a dirty secret. Yet these very kids saw fit to torment me with her. Be that as it may this man thought he’s money is everything and he’s kids are queens. It was a disaster waiting to happen. When I told him after 18mths of constant nursing and running to hospital with him and listening to he’s kids snide remarks and keeping down a fulltime job then he paid 3 months deposit and rental for and apartment, where he had found me for me again. He started moving he’s clothes back to he’s old house he shared with he’s kids and estranged wife and I realised he was glad I was leaving. I really possibly thought he would have stood for our marriage but I think when I told him he can get R10000 per month for the house he was living in with me that he was glad I was moving out. Besides he always said that house too is for he’s children if he die. Now I live alone 4 months and he opted to come round and spend weekends. However there was one floor. He wasn’t prepared to spend more than R200pw on nafaka in total in this new phase of our life. He ceased all support. Refused to assist with any financing and since I work I felt no need for him to stay. I asked him once again to not come here.
I haven’t heard from him except that he is demanding the car he gave me as dowry back as well as a bed freezer. Few odds and ends
I have refused as I am quantifying my worth in that hard 18 months.
What recourse do I have.
Is this husband right in justifying that I am he’s other wife and not entitled to any nafaka as all he’s money has to go into a tryst for he’s first, majnoon, wife and kids. Yet I was taking care of him.
He has formed a trust with all he’s assets. Says he did not include me.
He hasn’t supported me in 4 months. Refuses.
What recourse do I have except to tey the civil courts when he comes as he bought the care on the company name saying he needed to claim the vat back
I have it stated as mehr on my marriage certificate. I have that same car as a birthday present. I have that same car as an anniversary present. I have that same care as a valentyns day gift and I have that same car from him at R1000 pm plus insurance in a signed agreement by both of us.
I asked him which agreement he wants to honour and he said unless I am not prepared to reconsile on R200 PW he will dishonour all agreements including mehr
This by a 5 time a day namazi
I am left only with the civil route as who can help me since we are only islamically married and he is a shrewd 70 yt old memon invalid. Shukran.
Bismillaahir Rahmaanir Raheem.
Alhamdulillaahi was salaatu was salaamu `alaa Rasoolillaahi wa `alaa aalihi wa sahbihi wa man waalaahu, wa ba`d:
From an Islaamic perspective, it is not permitted for a man to take back his Mahr, Allaah says in Surah An-Nisaa, Aayah 20:
“And if you intend to replace one wife with another and you have given one of them a large amount (in dowry and gifts) then do not take anything from it. Would you take it in injustice and clear sin?” [i]
Even gifts in general besides Mahr is forbidden to take back, Hadhrat `Abdullaah ibn `Abbaas Radhiallaahu `Anhu narrates that Rasoolullaah Sallallaahu `Alayhi Wa Sallam said: “The example of a person who gives a gift and then takes back his gift, is like a dog that vomits, then licks up its own vomit.” – Saheeh Muslim. [ii]
Unfortunately we do not live in an Islaamic state where the Islaamic court would see to cases like this.
So in your case, if after you have tried every possible measure, and yet he refuses, you may then take it to the kuffaar court. According to your statement above, you have a certificate which mentions the car as Mahr (dowry), you can take that certificate to a family court and get a court order stating the car is yours, which will prevent him from being able to forcibly take it from you.
As for his claim that you are not entitled to Nafaqah (maintenance), then that has no basis, because it is one of the most basic rights a woman has in a marriage, Allaah says in Surah an-Nisaa, Aayah 34: “Men are the guardians of women due to the virtue Allaah has given one of them (males) over the other (females), and due to the wealth that they spend.” [iii]
If a man cannot divide his time and wealth equally between two wives then such a person may not keep a second wife, Hadhrat Abu Hurayrah Radhiallaahu `Anhu narrates that Rasoolullaah Sallallaahu `Alayhi Wa sallam said: “If a man has two wives and he does not do justice between them, he will come on the day of resurrection with his one side hanging down.” – Sunan At-Tirmidhi. [iv]
When a marriage has degenerated to such a level, and there seems like no way to mutual reconciliation, then it is best if such a marriage is dissolved, as Allaah says in Surah Baqarah, Aayah 229: “So either keep (her) with goodness, or let (her) go with kindness.” [v]
And Allaah knows best.
Ubaidullah Ibn Adam Aal-Ebrahim.
Checked and Approved by:
Mufti Rashid Ahmad Moosagie.
[i] وَإِنْ أَرَدْتُمُ اسْتِبْدَالَ زَوْجٍ مَكَانَ زَوْجٍ وَآتَيْتُمْ إِحْدَاهُنَّ قِنْطَارًا فَلا تَأْخُذُوا مِنْهُ شَيْئًا أَتَأْخُذُونَهُ بُهْتَانًا وَإِثْمًا مُبِينًا
[ii] إِنَّمَا مَثَلُ الَّذِي يَتَصَدَّقُ بِصَدَقَةٍ، ثُمَّ يَعُودُ فِي صَدَقَتِهِ، كَمَثَلِ الْكَلْبِ يَقِيءُ، ثُمَّ يَأْكُلُ قَيْئَهُ
[iii] الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَى بَعْضٍ وَبِمَا أَنْفَقُوا مِنْ أَمْوَالِهِمْ
[iv] إِذَا كَانَ عِنْدَ الرَّجُلِ امْرَأَتَانِ فَلَمْ يَعْدِلْ بَيْنَهُمَا جَاءَ يَوْمَ القِيَامَةِ وَشِقُّهُ سَاقِطٌ
[v]فَإِمْسَاكٌ بِمَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ تَسْرِيحٌ بِإِحْسَانٍ
Read Full Post »